Love Vigilantes
by Vera Hemmingway
Summary: With Daryl being taken hostage, and Glenn pronounced dead by Merle, Maggie is not sure that she can keep running. Crying and partially losing her mind, she falls desperately into the arms of leader and fellow widower Rick Grimes. -RICKxMAGGIE- -RATED T FOR SOME POSSIBLE SMUT-
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Set after the rescue of Maggie from the Governor, except Glenn was not found after Merle had tortured him (I've nothing against him, he's my favourite character infact) and Daryl has been captured.**

It had been a day sinse it all happened. Since Glenn died. Since Daryl got taken. We sat in silence. Some were mourning, some were planning their next move... I... I didn't know what to do. I'd lost more than half my family, I was practically immune to death and the feelings it brought up.

But I loved Glenn more than life itself.

Maybe I wouldn't have picked him in life before, but, we definitely belonged together. He loved me so much... and he died for me. That's how he wanted to go, he'd say, dying for me. Whether it was by walker, some one shooting at us, or torture. I just stopped crying but I knew I couldn't stay this calm forever, not having Glenn... It made me unbalanced and I felt like I might kill someone if they crossed me wrong.

Rick was sitting on the floor with Carol, Axel, Hershel, Michonne, Beth, and Carl. They had a map layed on the floor between them, it wouldn't be long before we left.

_Glenn_, I thought,_ I don't think we can do this... I don't think we'll survive them..._

I imagine he'd say something like "_We can do this, Maggie. We can do this, I love you, we can do this." _I felt comfort in the fact that he was watching me from heaven, protecting me, guiding me.

I looked up to see Rick, his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed, "Maggie, I know this is a bad time but... we need you. You're one of the best fighters in this group. Glenn would want-"

"Rick, _please_..." I whispered, "Let's just... Not mention Glenn, for now."

"I'm, I'm sorry. I really am... If it's any consolation, I _do_ know how you feel," he said, looking down.

Lori. Oh God, Lori. He lost her not even a week ago, and he hadn't shown any sign of weakness or giving up. How? They were married for so long, they loved each other so much. I hadn't even known Glenn a year.

"How do you do it?" I asked, "I feel like I'm going to collapse... or die."

"It's, well, we all have different ways of adapting. But I... I just pretend she's here. In the other room, or, in a safer area. And I... I gotta push, for her, for Carl, because they need me. Everyone here needs me; Carol, Daryl, you..." he took my hands in his hands, "I, I gotta be strong for them. Or else, Lori, she died for nothing. Hmmph, I remember she'd say things like 'You do what you gotta do, and I'll stand with you,' she was with me no matter what, and I can't let her down."

He was as broken as the rest of us.

He was strong though, for Lori.

"I just- I just miss him so much!" I cried, falling into him, weeping on his chest. "I..I.. I can't breath!" I sobbed, gasping for air to speak. "I can't breathe. I can't breath..." I cried again. He wrapped his arms around me, and I sunk my head into his shoulders.

"I can't .. I can't breathe..." I whimpered, "Shhh, I know. I know. You gotta be strong, you _gotta_ be strong.. Or else he died for nothin'," Rick whispered. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, they were honest and sympathetic. He took his hands off of me, and from another room Judith started to cry, "I should-" "No, go back to the group, Rick. I got her," I said, trying to smile.

I walked into the third cell, a second hand crib and a table sat alone in the grey, cold, room. Judith's cries were quiet, like she knew the situation we were in, and had adapted to it. I looked down into her bed, I picked her up and checked her diaper, nothin'; she was hungry. I grabbed the bottle from the table and held it to her mouth, she started to suckle on the bottle tip.

Glenn wanted kids, he was afraid of being a father and was a tad uncomfortable around kids, but always said to have a family with me was his dream.

_"I'm so sorry, Glenn.. I wish we were a family_," I whispered.

"We are a family, Mags. You, me, Rick, Carol, everyone," he would say, if he were here.

_"You're right, you're so smart, Glenn, why did you leave? Why did you leave..." _there were tears in my eyes and as I looked down at Judith, I knew, this was my family. I took the empty bottle from her and put her back in her crib, I smiled down at the only hope we had, I had to live for her.

"Everything okay?" asked Rick, walking into the cell, picking up his baby girl. "Yeah, I'm okay.. You're real lucky you got Judith, Rick, I envy you," I chuckled, looking down at the blood stained floor. "Envy? I hardly think my life is anything to envy," Rick said looking at me with that concerned face of his. "All I ever wanted was a child, with Glenn, you know. Judith.. she's perfect..."

"And I lost the woman I loved for her."

_"Yeah, and I lost the man I loved, for nothing."_

"He was tryin' to save you!" Rick exclaimed, laying his child down.

_"And Lori was trying to save her!"_

"It's not the same," he hissed, stepping closer to me.

_"Of course it ain't! Lori died for something worth dyin' for!"_

"And you're not worth dying for? Maggie, how can you _think_ like that?! I- I- I'd end my _life_ if I knew you were in danger! I can't believe you'd say somethin' like that. Jesus, Maggie." he yelled, now right in my face.

I didn't realise what I was doing at the time, whether it was the malnutrition, Glenn's death, or just anxiety, but at that moment I needed Rick. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. Biting his bottom lip and running my fingers through his hair, my mind was in the fog.

He quickly pushed me away, "Maggie... I-"

_"Rick! Come over 'ere!"_ yelled Carol.

He left to help them, our family, our damaged, broken, family.


	2. Chapter 2

'_Oh my god, what the hell have I done?!_' I thought, Glenn had just died, I was just crying about him and talking to him.

"Glenn, Glenn I'm so sorry. Glenn... I'm sorry.. . . Glenn..." I sobbed on the floor, clutching my stomach I felt sick. He would never betray me. He told me he loved me everyday and made sure I always knew it, and here I was, trying to kiss the man who he'd so trusted.

"Glenn I love you, I'll always love you. I'm so.. sorry.." I cried, weeping now, I looked over at our bed that we shared. His scent, still lingering on the left side of the mattress, I wished I could save forever. I would hold his pillow in the night, pretend it was him.

He used to tell me _"One day, we're gonna have a king-sized bed, full of Egyptian cotton and dozens of big, fluffy pillows. We'll be warm under the silk blankets, and we'll hide there all day. Just you and me."_

Then he'd kiss me, from my forehead to my chest, he'd wrap his arms around me and tell me he'd never let anything happen to me, ever.

_"I'll keep you safe, Mags, don't worry. I love you. I'll keep you safe,_" he'd say.

I grabbed his pillow to control my screams, "You _did_ keep me safe, Glenn!_ You did!_ It was me that_** fucked**_it up. _I'm so sorry._"

"Maggie?" said an innocent voice, "Oh god, Maggie are you okay?" Beth asked quietly from the doorway.

"My boyfriend is dead, Beth. I'm not okay," I muttered under my breath, "Just go."

She let out a sigh, my baby sister, she couldn't understand what I was going through.

"You know what, Maggie? You don't think I miss Jimmy? I miss him everyday. But I don't sit in my room cryin' my eyes out. People die. Every day," she said with a stern face, grabbing my arm and picking me up from the ground, "I know this sounds harsh, but you gotta know that you can't do this forever. We need you, Maggie."

She stood there for a few minutes while I reassembled myself; wiping the tears from my face and neck I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

"I'll be out in a minute," I sighed. I didn't want to think about seeing Rick, I'd have to pretend nothing happened, that's what he would do.

As I joined the table at which everyone was sitting, I avoided eye contact with anyone, I didn't want to cry any more. "If we come in through the back entrance, there'll be less guards..." Rick said softly, "But that's where _his_ office is, we can't risk that," Michonne replied. Everyone was avoiding bringing up the Governor's name, kind of redundant, but they wanted me to forget what he'd done to me.

"We could always sneak into his office first, kill him, you know," Axel suggested, "No, he'll have guards, we gotta get through the defence first," Rick said, "Then we can deal with him."

"When do we save Daryl? He's probably being tortured right now as we speak!" cried Carol, _"Calm down," _he hissed.

"No! Don't tell me to calm down! We've been sittin' here for hours with nothin'! He could be dead within the next hour for all we know! Decide what were gonna do, _please_. Because if we don't act soon, Daryl's gone." she yelled, storming off to her cell.

"Dad, she's right..." Carl said, "I know Carl, but, we got to plan this, we don't wanna make any mistakes again," Rick muttered, he looked at me. Mistakes as in Glenn dying. I looked down at my feet, trying not to think about him.

He rubbed his forehead, "Shit... Maggie I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean-"

"It's.. It's okay Rick, I know.." I whispered, "I.. I need to step out for a minute."

"Maggie, wait.." Rick grunted, chasing after me into the basketball court.

I opened the door slightly, checking for walkers, none. The clouds were getting grey though, and I knew I couldn't stay outside for long.

"Maggie!" Rick yelled out, searching for me. I didn't want him to end up in the wrong hall, "I'm.. i'm in here," I whined. I was angry that he wouldn't leave me alone, but glad that I wasn't by myself, I didn't want to be by myself, alone with my thoughts.

"I didn't mean to say it like that, Maggie. I-"

_"Rick.. I think.. I want to... have.. sex. With you..."_

"What?"

_"Please..._

_...I need you..._

_...Right now..._

_We can pretend it didn't happen after, it'll be a one time thing but... I just need to occupy my mind..."_

"Maggie, I can't do that."

"_Yes, you can.._" I said, taking slow steps toward him... _"It won't mean anything..."_

"Maggie, you'll always mean something to me," stroking my hair, he looked behind him to see that the door was closed. I could see the look in his eyes; guilt, deceit, lust, and that he knew he would regret this.

_"Please,_" I begged, looking up at him. And at that moment, a familiar face appeared, Glenn, back in the abandoned Pharmacy. He was so nervous, and I made fun of him for it later._ 'No, no. Don't think of him,'_ I thought, latching my hands on Rick's jeans.

He wouldn't be able to resist the temptation, no one would. He took my face in his hands and kissed me, passionately. He pushed me against the wall, reaching his hands up my shirt, he played with my hips. I lifted his shirt and he unhooked my bra, kissing my neck, my chest, and my stomach, I thought of nothing but how much I wanted him.

I knew he was pretending I was Lori, and I accepted that, because I pretended he was Glenn. He wasn't of course, he was much more rough and got straight to it.

I unhooked his belt, and grabbed him. He grunted deeply as he unbuttoned my pants and with his hands he rubbed between my thighs. "Oh, _god_..." I cried softly.

He entered me, and as he kissed me, he almost threw me onto the ground. I could tell my back had been scratched from the concrete floor, "Are- are you okay?" he asked, thrusting his hips,

"Just keep going," I panted.

We were done within the next five minutes, and he lay beside me for a while.

A tear rolled down my cheek, _'I'm so sorry, Glenn._' I thought. I couldn't even try to imagine how he would react if he was alive, he was so kind and forgiving, I was cruel and unfaithful.

Rick wiped my eyes and kissed my cheek, and it felt awkward. His face wasn't soft like Glenn's, and he wasn't telling me he loved me, or that we should go again... he just lay there.

_'I'm so sorry, Glenn.'_


	3. Chapter 3

This wasn't like Rick, and for a while I tried to figure out why he agree'd to do this with me. We never really knew if he ever forgave Lori and Shane for what they did, why was it okay now to act in similar notions? Was it because she was dead?

I guess I shouldn't have been criticizing, I was no better.

Rain slowly started patting down on the concrete, we had to go back soon, we had to leave tonight, find Daryl.

"I was lonely, too," Rick mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"What?"

"The reason I did this; it wasn't right but... I couldn't think... I was losin' my mind because it was filled with Lori," he whispered.

"You're not losin your mind, it's just grievin'."

"No... I... Sometimes I- I hear these phone calls... And Lori and I have these conversations... They last for hours sometimes. Maggie, I was losing my mind."

I didn't know how to reply to this, I'd talked to Glenn, too, but I don't think I was ready to tell him. All I could do was take his hand and hope that somehow, we'd find a way.

I thought that moment would last forever, but a silhouette shuffled toward us and I sat up instinctively.

"_NnNnnnnrrrgggghhh..."_

"Rick, WALKER," I yelped, sliding back towards the door. It heard me and started running in my direction, "My knife... It's inside," he said. We looked around for something to use to kill it, but there was nothin' but a few basketballs.

It grabbed my foot and I screamed, "NO! OH GOD, NO!" I cried, kicking away. I'd started getting good with guns and knives, but hand to hand, I was weak.

Blood splattered across my face as it's brains were bashed in by Rick's boot, he grabbed it by the legs, dragging it away from me, and stepped on it's face several more times.

Crying, I felt helpless and like nothing had changed since the farm. I thought I was stronger now, but I was still the naive girl who could do nothing but run.

"Dad? Dad!? Dad where are you? Dad!" we heard Carl yell from inside the prison walls, if they heard that I feared for what else they'd heard.

"Carl! I'm okay. Go back inside! We'll be there in a minute!" Rick shouted, dragging the body away from the court. "We should go back," Rick said sternly. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn't. I followed him back inside and locked the door.

We walked in and I was scared that people knew what happened, I was almost positive that my Dad would figure it out first, he had a way of reading people.

"Everything okay?" Carol asked, looking up from the table they sat at. "What happened out there? We heard screaming," Michonne said suspiciously.

Rick looked at me, knitting his eyebrows, "We got into a little arguement, and a walker heard us, it was close."

"But y'all are okay? The baby, she cried for a bit, but we couldn't figure out what she wanted," Hershel muttered. I wondered if she knew her mother was gone, or that she was putting all of us in danger. She was one of the last hopes for us, yeah, but she also had the power to kill us all.

Rick went to tend to his child, he was good with kids, always knew how to get them to understand things. I wish I could do that, I mean I knew how to take care of them, but never really knew... what to say to them.

"Hershel! Can you come in here?" Rick called out, Beth helped Dad up to his crutches and he slowly limped towards the cell, I quietly followed behind.

"I think she has a fever, I can't tell... " he said, rocking her in his arms. He was such a different guy than what he was an hour ago. Dad went up to him to put his hand over her forehead.

We stood there awkwardly, Rick looked at me and didn't say anything, I feared it would be uncomfortable with him for a long time. He wouldn't tell anyone, of course, he was a good man, but I knew that he wasn't one for talking things out.

"It's minor," Hershel said standing back, "But it's there- the fever. The only thing we can really do is keep her hydrated and if it gets worse will give her a small dose of ibuprofen... If there's any left."

"That's all you can say? That's it?!"

"_Rick! You can't say that, what do you want him to do? Call a doctor?"_

He exhaled, putting his baby back in her crib, she cried softly, but there was nothing we could do about it. Hershel left to go sit down.

"I- I didn't mean it like that. I just-"

_"You're concerned, we get it, it's okay."_

I looked at him for a while but he avoided eye contact, I felt like he regretted this.

I regretted it.

"I think we need to rest, wake up at dawn to find Daryl," he said, walking to his cell.

I longed to go after him, hold him, cry to him, something. He had this way of making me feel like I didn't need to be strong 24/7, like I could be protected by him. I understood him ignoring me, he needed to sort out what had happened, but I wondered if he'd ever forgive me, or himself.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**I'm sorry this chapter kind of sucked, I've had a lack of creativity the past few days... Hopefully it will pick up after Sunday's new episode! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

It was late in the night, I'd been dreaming. Back at the farm, Beth and I used to talk about leaving and going to Atlanta. Her and Jimmy would get an apartment downtown, she'd be a real estate agent and he'd fix cars. I'd always thought she'd be a singer but... she never thought she was any good.

I always made fun of Glenn for the fact that he delivered pizzas, he told me that his life didn't matter and that life with me, walkers or not, was better than anything before. I'd kiss him and tell him he was crazy...

"Maggie... Maggie wake up," Rick hissed, shaking my shoulders gently, "What's wrong? Glenn?" I asked faintly, half awake. "Maggie. Maggie it's Rick, we gotta go," he said petting my hair down. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, I looked up at Rick and he smiled nervously. He handed me my shirt and I felt embarrassed, dressing myself in front of him. I stood up, but fell in attempt and he caught me quickly.

_"When... When did you eat last?"_

"I- I don't know," I muttered, he wiped a tear from my cheek and kissed my head.

The last time I ate was the morning I went to get formula with Glenn, oatmeal, as usual, was the meal of the day.

"Rick, I'm sorry,"

_"For what?"_ he asked, I looked up at him and he knew. He knew what I meant.

We we're never supposed to have sex, it wasn't the right time. It was too soon, we were both so fragile, on the edge of sanity.  
He held me in his arms, on the cold prison floor of my cell, leaning up against my bed.

"Rick, we gotta go, now," Carol said in the doorway, she knew what happened with us, but she stayed quiet.

We drove in one car; me, Rick, Michonne, and Carol, it was quiet. The sun was long gone and we passed a few walkers, they'd catch up to us later. We stopped a kilometre before Woodbury, just to be safe. "We're walkin' from here," Rick grunted, we all nodded. I stepped out of the car when Rick put his hand on my shoulder, "Maggie, I'm sorry but... In case everything goes to hell, we need you... You need to keep watch."

_"Keep watch?!"_

"You... You just lost someone. You haven't been eatin'. You couldn't even walk to Woodbury let alone fire a shot. I'm sorry but... We need you here," he said, his eyebrows knitted and his face close to mine. I sat back down in the car, my legs shaking impatiently.

As they walked away Rick looked back at me, I nodded at him and he continued his way. It could've been the last time I saw Rick, Carol, or Michonne. I put my hand up to the window, feeling the cold glass up to my palms.

'_Please, don't let me lose him, too._' I prayed, I didn't know who I was talking to; could've been God... my mother... Glenn...

I looked back in the seat beside me, I could see Glenn sitting in the seat beside me. I jumped and covered my mouth from screaming, he looked so real.

_"I'm so sorry, Glenn. _

_...They... They said they'd kill you if I didn't tell them where the prison was... I told them, but.. but they did it anyway... _

_...I love you so much, I love you so much, Glenn..." _I whimpered, burying my face in my hands.

_"I didn't mean for this to happen... I tried to save you I tried so hard! I'm just weak... I need you here Glenn"_

_"Maggie..." _I could hear him say softly, I could feel his hand on my arm, kissing my shoulder and neck.

I looked up for him and he was gone,

of course he was gone, he was never there.

The sun speared through the trees and woke me up, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I could see five silhouettes in the distance. I quickly grabbed my gun and jumped out of the car, running towards them.

As I saw the fifth silhouette I started sprinting, "WHO THE HELL IS THAT?! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!" I screamed, pointing my gun at Merle Dixon. I was close to his face now, my gun pointed straight at his temples. "YOU KILLED HIM AND YOU THINK YOU CAN COME BACK HERE?! I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T TURN AROUND RIGH-

_"Maggie, he didn't kill Glenn,"_ Carol said softly.

_"That's rich, why don't you go tell my corpse of a boyfriend that?!"_

"She's telling the truth," Rick pushed my gun down, "It was the Governor. Merle left after beating him up, but the Governor came back after and..."

I bit my lip, trying not to break down and cry. Rick took my hand as reassurance. We walked back to the car in silence, I'd never forgive Merle, he still near killed him and threw a walker at him.

We reached the cars and Daryl muttered "We all can't fit on one car..."

"Nonsense!" I laughed, and I thrusted the end of my gun into the back of Merle's head, knocking him flat on the ground.

"Jesus, lady what's the matter with you?!" Daryl yelled, "Don't even go there! You don't know the _half_ of what he did!" I screamed back at him, climbing back into the front seat of the car.

Rick sat down beside my and rubbed my shoulder, we drove back to the prison quickly as the sun sat high in the sky.  
"The Governor, he'll be coming soon..." Michonne said sternly, "We'll talk about it when we get back," Rick replied.

In that moment, we enjoyed the road, the empty road, the warm air, the bright sky. "She's right..." I had to say, "We need to start preparing. Either he attacks us, or we attack him."

"I'm not gonna let him take this prison, we've risked too much, we can't lose anymore people," Rick assured us.

I wouldn't let him kill Rick, and I knew Rick would protect me but... I didn't know if we could protect everyone else.


	5. Chapter 5

**-NOTICE- **

**Hello everyone! I know there has been a big hiatus and that was because it was exTREMELY difficult to write during the show... With Glenn and Maggie being cannon and all (how do you NOT ship them honestly). I should be writing more as the Walking Dead isn't coming back for... *sniffs*... several months... **

We'd stopped the car and all got out to look back at the map; Merle was unconscious but Daryl didn't move from his side, he stood outside the car holding his crossbow giving Rick a nervous look. Rick stepped out the driver's seat and walked towards him, I knew Daryl wouldn't listen to me more than Rick so I stayed. They didn't argue, or yell, I wasn't exactly sure what they were talking about- it wasn't good though, it never is.

It was over in under a minute, as Merle had woken up Daryl quickly helped him up and as they began to walk away, Daryl shot a look at Carol, who had a tear rolling down her cheek. Rick, standing behind them now, dropped his head as he lost his best ally. I jumped out of the car, "Rick! What the hell?! Is he leaving?!" I yelled after him. "What do you expect Maggie; that's his brother," he muttered, walking towards the car. "HEY," I grunted, grabbing his shoulder and turning him towards me, "We _need_ him. The Governor is coming and without him we'll _die_."

"Would you leave Beth? Hershel? If we'd asked you to?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips. I knew he was right, Beth and Dad were all the family I had left. I nodded stubbornly and followed him back to the rest of the group. As I climbed in the back we drove off not saying a word, Carol sobbed quietly, but aside from that there was dead silence. I looked at Rick, he was hurting, I knew he needed Daryl as much as Merle did- but he had to stay strong for the group, for me.

We'd returned to the prison, Carl greeted Rick with a hug, and as I saw my sister and dad I felt relieved, I embraced both of them, kissing their cheeks and reminding myself that despite everything, there's still family.

"Dad... There's something you should see..." Carl said to Rick as we headed inside. He shot a glance at me and I tried to give him a reassuring look that it was probably nothing, a few walkers at most. Dad looked down at me and sighed, "What is it?" I whispered to him, "Survivors... Carl found survivors... A group of 4, they're good people but... I don't know how Rick will react."

If Dad had said they were good people than I believed him; though he said the opposite when Rick's group came to the farm. But we didn't kill the inmates... and we lost T-Dog... and Lori...

Walking into the prison cafeteria we met the survivors, Tyreese, Sasha, Allen, and Ben, who seemed like good people and good assets. They offered to help fight off the Governor, find supplies, clear the prison- all they wanted was a safe haven.

We turned to Rick, he was the one to make a final decision, of course he'd say yes.. He had to... Dad turned to him, "You have to start giving people a chance, Rick," he pleaded. Rick sighed, like he was giving in, like he'd had enough.  
"...No...No..." he muttered.

"Rick please," I said, "These people just want to help."

He looked up and seemed to be in shock, walking away from us and muttering to himself, "Why are you here?... I can't help you..."

"Rick please! Give them a chance!" I yelled, but he didn't even hear me. He turned toward us all, a gun pointed with a mad look in his eyes, "GET OUT, EVERYONE, GET OUT!" he screamed. People were panicking now, scrambling out of the room, he continued screaming at nothing, crying and pacing from insanity.

I had to snap him out of it. "_RICK!_" I yelled at him, trying to catch him, "_RICK STOP!_" I tried again, but all he did was pace and point his gun at thin air. "_Ri-_," he turned and had his gun in my face, I'd froze as he stared me point blank in the eye, he was crying, his eyes wide open and his breathing heavy. I was shaking as I stepped closer to him, he could've shot me at any second, but I stretched my hand out to his face, stroking his cheek.

"Rick... " I whispered, "Why are you doing this?"

He knitted his brows and looked up at the balcony, _"It's Lori..._" he replied.

I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms around him, scared for mine and his own well-being. What the hell was he talking about? Lori was gone, it was still recent but he seemed like he was getting better.

_"I saw her,"_ he whimpered.

I didn't reply, I didn't know how. I saw Glenn no more than 8 hours ago. Was this how it was going to be? Hallucinations of dead people?

I ran my hand through his hair, trying any form of comfort I could offer. We were both afraid, we were both alone, both insane and delusional.


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR NOTE**

**Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, wasn't sure how well it was written since it's been a while... I'm debating whether to stick to the original plot or not, hmmmm... ;)**

Rick and I were sitting against the wall of the cafeteria, he started to calm down, but every now and then he would look up with sorrow in his eyes- and I knew who he was seeing.

I don't know which part was bothering me; the fact that I was in no place to be hypocritical or that I couldn't help him at all. I just sat beside him, it was like sitting beside a dying man, waiting for an ambulance that would never come.  
I looked over at him, he was angry, at himself or Lori or even me for what I did to her- I put my hand over his and he cringed slightly. "Rick I don't know what to do, tell me what to do," I said. He rubbed his sleep-deprived eyes and stood up, "I just... I need to go outside.. clear my head..." he mumbled at the wall, walking towards the door.

"Oh... Okay," I whispered, now alone. I didn't want to be alone, I was afraid, not of walkers but of my own thoughts. I just wanted him to go back to being the leader, or being able to talk to me without thinking of Lori.

_"You should follow him, see if he's okay," _I heard, I knew who the voice was, I knew it wasn't real. "Please... go away, you're not really here...

...I just want to be with you..." I started sobbing,

_"...I know, Mags..." _he replied, _"...But you need to go..."_

I burried my face in my hands as I tried to re-evaluate myself, _it's just your thoughts_, I told myself, _he's gone_. I sat there, afraid to look up, face the world again- he would tell me to be strong. I had to be strong. A loud gun shot off as I raised my head from my hands, it came from outside.

"Dad?" I called out, he must've been outside, "Beth!" I cried again, no one. I quickly ran out of the cafeteria into the hallway, but ran back to get as many guns as I could carry. No one would fire one shot, it was irrational.

I grabbed three guns that were constantly slipping out of my arms, but I hurried to the court yard as fast as I could. "BETH!" I yelled as I saw her crouching down behind a metal cage, gunshots continued to fire, "Maggie? Maggie, Axel's dead! It's the Governor he's attacking us!" she cried as I threw her a weapon.

"Where's Dad?!" I yelled over the gunfire as we ran closer to the guard tower, there was a man there shooting at us.

"He's over by the fence with Rick!" she yelled, positioning her gun at the shooter. _Oh my god he could die here_, I thought, _no not today, not now_. I fired carefully at the attacker but kept missing, how could Carl, Beth, and I take this long to hit him?  
A truck came up crashing through the fence gates, one of the Governor's cars, it stayed idle for a couple moments. We all stood silently, waiting for whoever to amerce from the beat-up vehicle. It felt like years, the back doors opened and a ramp fell to the ground. Walkers, dozens of them, came pouring out and shuffling towards where Dad and Rick were.

I panicked, I wouldn't lose them both. I nervously reloaded and fired one last shot at the man in the tower, killing him. "Come on!" Carl yelled, chasing after his Dad, "CARL WATCH OUT!" Beth and I yelled after him, gesturing towards the Governor outside the fence.

We couldn't help them without being killing ourselves, all we could do was take cover and watch. Carol had joined us now, her face covered in blood from the now deceased Axel, her eyes full of fear and pain.

_Rick... Please don't die... Save my Dad... _

We were out of bullets, we couldn't stop the walkers chasing Rick or the one's that would soon find Dad hiding in the grass.  
From behind a broken down prison bus Michonne emerged and ran towards the truck, she ran after Dad, killing any dead that came close. The Governor had started to get into his car, there was no getting him now.

As he we heard a scream from Rick, he was surrounded by three walkers, they were pushing against him. _NO, no, no, no..._, they could've torn him apart right there. He was saved by Daryl and Merle, who came out from the forest behind the fence, "Daryl..." Carol whispered excitedly. There was a tiny glimpse of joy as Rick, Michonne, and Dad exhaustedly climbed up the body-filled hill to us. Dad had lost his crutches in the field, he was panting and close to passing out as Rick and Michonne carried him through the heat and mud. Daryl was walking beside his brother, whom I knew I would never forgive, talking calmly like it never happened. He seemed to be content just being around him and Carol.

I ran up to hug my Dad and make sure he was okay, him and Beth walked back into our cell block with the rest of the group. I had Rick alone outside and all I could do was throw myself against him and hold him as close to me as I could, "I thought you were going to die," I whimpered. He wrapped his bloody arms around me and we stood there for a few moments.

He rested his chin on my head, exhaling with relief, "That's not gonna happen, no one else is gonna die," he said, brushing the hair out of my face. I looked up at his comforting eyes, he made sure I believed it, that I wouldn't be afraid any more.

He kissed me softly on my trembling lips and held me close so that our bodies were touching; I wanted for us to stay like this. Forget the rest of the world, the death, the fear, the killing, we could just... be.


End file.
